Earnest Words

New Heresy Edition (NHE) Proverbs 47

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Just in the time for the holidays, there’s been a NEW REVELATIONS TO THE BOOK OF PROVERBS

The Lord knows that what really matters isn’t acting justly, loving mercy or walking humbly before your God this holiday season!

No! From the improviser inventor translator of the New Heresy Edition, it’s:

Proverbs 47: How to Argue on Social Media

Proverbs 47 contains such timeless truths as:

“If a Facebook post has more comments than likes, you should jump in and try to change someone’s mind.”

“Calling someone names and generalizing about their point of view is an effective way show people God’s love.”

“The Lord despises people who are wrong.”

“A fool listens but the righteous man quotes your own words back to you in a pedantic point-by-point refutation.”

“Everything is about the soteriological impact of Jesus’s work on the tree at Calvary. Including that instagram of your dinner. [CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!!!!]”

“Jesus was crucified on a CROSS MORON!”

“The difference between the log in your eye and the speck in your brother’s eye is pretty small so you should definitely point it out in public before dealing with your thing.”

“It’s just Facebook. They won’t mind.”

“Only a fool assumes that facebook is a highlight reel.”

“See how I made $4,879 working from home in my spare time. Click here.”

Only $45.45 with your revolving membership to the New Heresy Foundation.


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